Below are some categories of different kinds of Asians. Take a look and see what kind of Asian you are!
- Your significant other is not Asian and never has been.
- You have few Asian friends, if any.
- You are embarrassed at family events because you cannot speak your language and everyone has to switch to English to communicate with you.
- You have no idea that the other types of Asians on this list even exist.
- You think Hello Kitty is dumb and do not know what Sanrio is.
- You are the only Asian on this list that does not know what Bubble Tea is.
- You drive a Ford or some other domestic car and if you drive a Honda, it is stock.
- You claim yourself as Asian, but real Asians think you’re whitewashed and non-Asians see you as a foreigner. You fit in nowhere.
- You have heard of Bubble Tea but have never actually had any.
- You are confused about your cultural identity and express this frustration through spoken word performances at your college.
- You read A. magazine and think it’s great.
- You do not know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Hikki, or Kangta are.
- You are only vaguely aware of the other Asians below.
Fob (Fresh Off the Boat)
- You were not born in America.
- You know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Hikki, and Kangta are. In fact, you have seen them at Atlantic City or Las Vegas recently.
- You speak your native language fluently and so do all your friends.
- You do not have any non-Asian friends.
- Your parents do not speak any English.
- When you speak English, you like to make everything plural.
- You get extremely good grades in school.
- You cannot dance.
- Your fashion sense comes from whatever country you’re from and you incorporate nothing from American fashion into your wardrobe.
- Your command of the English language is minimal and you don’t care.
- You like dim sum chicken feet.
- You do not own a single CD, VCD, Video game, or DVD that isn’t bootlegged.
- Your only hangout is Chinatown.
- All the lights in your house are fluorescent.
- You dry your clothes outside your window.
- You need a haircut.
- You either smell like cigarettes or food.
- You are an Asian-American or Twinkie who has recently “awoken”.
- You have a newly found fetish of Asian girls/boys.
- You have taken the Asian Studies course at college.
- You are trying to learn as much as possible about your culture to make up for your lifetime of trying to be white.