Which Kind Of Asian Are You?

Below are some categories of different kinds of Asians. Take a look and see what kind of Asian you are!

Twinkie

  • Your significant other is not Asian and never has been.
  • You have few Asian friends, if any.
  • You are embarrassed at family events because you cannot speak your language and everyone has to switch to English to communicate with you.
  • You have no idea that the other types of Asians on this list even exist.
  • You think Hello Kitty is dumb and do not know what Sanrio is.
  • You are the only Asian on this list that does not know what Bubble Tea is.
  • You drive a Ford or some other domestic car and if you drive a Honda, it is stock.

Asian-American

  • You claim yourself as Asian, but real Asians think you’re whitewashed and non-Asians see you as a foreigner. You fit in nowhere.
  • You have heard of Bubble Tea but have never actually had any.
  • You are confused about your cultural identity and express this frustration through spoken word performances at your college.
  • You read A. magazine and think it’s great.
  • You do not know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Hikki, or Kangta are.
  • You are only vaguely aware of the other Asians below.

Fob (Fresh Off the Boat)

  • You were not born in America.
  • You know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Hikki, and Kangta are. In fact, you have seen them at Atlantic City or Las Vegas recently.
  • You speak your native language fluently and so do all your friends.
  • You do not have any non-Asian friends.
  • Your parents do not speak any English.
  • When you speak English, you like to make everything plural.
  • You get extremely good grades in school.
  • You cannot dance.
  • Your fashion sense comes from whatever country you’re from and you incorporate nothing from American fashion into your wardrobe.

SuperFob

  • Your command of the English language is minimal and you don’t care.
  • You like dim sum chicken feet.
  • You do not own a single CD, VCD, Video game, or DVD that isn’t bootlegged.
  • Your only hangout is Chinatown.
  • All the lights in your house are fluorescent.
  • You dry your clothes outside your window.
  • You need a haircut.
  • You either smell like cigarettes or food.

Fobabee

  • You are an Asian-American or Twinkie who has recently “awoken”.
  • You have a newly found fetish of Asian girls/boys.
  • You have taken the Asian Studies course at college.
  • You are trying to learn as much as possible about your culture to make up for your lifetime of trying to be white.
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